Hi my name is Whess. I am herbivorous in nature, and like spooky places and things. I'm a member of the Carrier nation. Genderqueer, pan.
I dreamt that I could/had to live underwater and I was sleeping, but my glass house/tank was invaded by “silver plated snakefish” which were a silver scaled species of anaconda with thin streamer-like fins that trailed behind it. A twelve footer laid up beside me and looked me in the eye as it sized me up; i covered it’s head with a pillow and swam to the surface and got out, but i was on a platform in the centre of the tank and would have to jump back in to get to the edge and out. When i looked in there were snakes with girths exceeding what i’d be able to reach around just roiling in the water in thick coils, looking up at me.
Someone told me they were afraid to go in the water but I said that we had to and jumped as far as i could, as close to the edge as i could. I could feel the bodies of the snakefish all around me trying to pull me down but i got to the edge and hauled myself out, covered in shedded snake skin…but as i started to pick it off i realized it wasn’t the skin from the snakes, it was my own skin and underneath was scales; they weren’t there to eat me, they were there to transform and collect me.
I dropped back into the water.
Every time i find myself nearly humming a bright eyes song or quoting his lyrics i want to punch myself in the face.
I know every fucking word, it all meant a lot to me but it’s all fucked now.
i’m finally looking at a gallery that someone told me i should look at for submitting my work and the reason it took me so long was because that class was terrible on so many levels and also one of the instuctors always gavae us shit for not going to galleries more and it was like dude, i barely wanted to come to class not because i don’ twant to be here in a general sense but because of the mindcrushing anxiety it takes me to face larges groups of people. or small groups of terrible people.
Yeah love that smooth jazz at star bucks.
I’m locked out of the mall because it’s too early which means i’m locked out of work and normally i think there is a way of circumventing this inconvienence but my boss is out of cell service and there’s no reason the DM in Burnaby who is also on a cruise would know how to get in a mall over a 1000km away.
i just want top surgery and to swim with whales is that so much to ask.
some redneck scumbag started yelling at my sis and i from a cab and called us squaws, which is honestly the insult I find most irritating out of all the insults i’ve dealt with and i felt really bad for the cab driver (also a person of colour) who probably also has to deal with that kind of shit all the time which is like fuuuuck. (headdesk). We didn’t respond to him because that would probably just make it worse for us and the cab driver who was looking quite daunted by his charge.
then there’s that fuckwad from the third floor who seems to think he has a chance in my hell of getting near me but please, i’ve got my shit togetherish and I do not need his drama, drugs, loser friends or bullshit domination of space cluttering up my business.
I wish shit like this either just didn’t happen or didn’t bother me as much.